Having Trouble Letting Go? Tips for Tackling Those Tough-to-Toss Things
Are you a person who has difficulty getting rid of things? Well, good news: you’re not alone! According to a 2015 survey by Decluttr and NAPO (the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals), 54% of Americans feel overwhelmed by the amount of clutter in their lives, but a staggering 78% have no idea what to do with the clutter and/or find it too complicated to address (source).
One of the myriad factors contributing to this mass accumulation of stuff is that many people have difficulty getting rid of items, and this difficulty crops up for several reasons. These include guilt (especially where gifts and expensive purchases are concerned), sentimental attachment, fear (of being overwhelmed and/or needing to make too many challenging decisions), concern that they’ll get rid of something they’ll need later (despite 80% of owned items never being used, according to NAPO), and not knowing where to start.
This post discusses and addresses these impediments to decluttering and offers tactics for overcoming them. Each of the sections below focuses on a particular trouble area and contains suggestions for how to address it. This post concludes with a resources section providing links to platforms for rehoming items and organizations to donate items to.
It Was Expensive
Simply knowing that an object is valuable and that a sizable amount of money was spent to acquire it can be a tough mental obstacle to get past when trying to downsize and declutter. It’s easy to experience feelings of guilt when getting rid of costly items, and that guilt can partially or entirely prevent you from disposing of something. To combat this sense of guilt, it’s important to keep in mind when addressing valuable (but superfluous) items that they are ultimately sunk costs, and that keeping them solely because they’re valuable is a sunk cost fallacy. A sunk cost is essentially money paid in the past that is no longer relevant to decisions about the present or future. In other words, the money’s already gone, and whether or not you keep the item doesn’t change that.
However, if the recuperation of an item’s value is emotionally or financially important to you, one strategy for actually doing away with a valuable item is to resell it. Just remember, though, that reselling takes time, effort, physical and emotional energy, and the drive to actually do the selling, either in person or online. To help evaluate whether or not it’s worth the time and effort, compare the item’s worth to what you’re likely to get for it, how much time you’d invest into making online posts, communicating with potential buyers, meeting with and potentially being flaked on by prospective purchasers, etc. Ask yourself if the time and energy cost of all these factors is less than the money you’d get if the item sells. If so, go ahead and try to sell it! A list of platforms for reselling items can be found in the Resources section below.
Otherwise, if you determine the money you’d gain from reselling an object is not worth the time, effort, and energy you’d spend to get it, the other option with valuable items (as with all items, really) is to pass it along via donation or gifting to someone else. In such a case, rather than weighing yourself down with guilt over the money you’ve lost by buying a costly item, instead think about the happiness the recipient or next owner of the item will experience, and feel gratification by sharing in their joy. The joy of gifting is much more powerful and uplifting than the sense of begrudging guilt that comes with keeping unneeded things just because they’re worth money.
It Was a Gift
Because gifts are given as a means to show that others care about us, it’s no surprise that getting rid of an unwanted or unneeded gift can feel like we’re disregarding the giver’s love or affection. But keep in mind, it’s the sentiment behind the gift that truly matters, not the thing itself. To help mitigate any guilt you might feel at getting rid of a gift, you can take pictures of the item and add them to an either digital or physical Sentimental Things photo album. That way, you’ll still have a picture of the thing to look at and think back on whenever you like, but the item itself will no longer be cluttering up your space.
Another strategy for dealing with the guilt that accompanies disposing of gifts is to be proactive before you receive gifts. During typical gift-giving times, like big holidays and your birthday, let people know ahead of time what you desire or need and suggest only things that you’ll actually use and cherish. Or, if you don’t need more things in your life (which, let’s be honest, most people don’t), just tell potential gifters that you’d prefer they not buy you anything and instead make a donation to a charitable organization of their or your choice.
It’s Broken
Let’s face it – most of us at one point or another have held onto a broken item with the intention of repairing it and using it again one day. And that “one day” just never seems to come. If you are hanging onto a broken item you intend to fix, there are two main courses of action.
One is to actually get that fix done! First, figure out what is needed to accomplish the fix. Is there a replacement part that you need to order? Does the item need fresh batteries? Are there specific tools you need to get the job done? If it is not a repair that you are able to accomplish on your own, determine what kind of help you need and where you might be able to take it to have an expert fix it. In any of these scenarios, I recommend actually putting an event in your calendar to remind you to start the process, and schedule as many further events as necessary to complete all the steps in the fixing process. If you live here in Portland, OR, there is an amazing organization called RepairPDX that holds Repair Cafés where volunteers fix broken household items for free. You can also look for local tool libraries to acquire the tools you may need to fix your item.
The alternative course of action is to recognize that it is just not realistic for you to repair this item and that you need to let it go. If you think the item is ultimately repairable, you can consider donating it to an organization like RepairPDX (check with them first to see if they will accept the item). Another local organization here in Portland that accepts donations of electronics for recycling and refurbishment is FreeGeek. Refurbished items are either sold in their store (funds support the organization’s education services) or given to a person in need. Items that cannot be refurbished are disassembled so that their components can be recycled.
To help you decide on the appropriate course of action, ask yourself the following questions:
Is it worth my time and energy to fix this item?
Will having this item repaired ultimately save me time or money, or is it a better use of my time/money to buy a replacement?
Better yet, can I simply live without the item and free up more space in my home?
If I fix it, will I actually use it? How much joy will it bring me?
Another thing to think about on the subject of broken items: before you acquire something, consider whether it is likely to break and whether it would be easily repaired if broken. Sometimes it is worth investing more money upfront for a longer-lasting, quality item that will not break quickly and end up costing you time and money to either repair or replace.
Resources
Being able to give your items new life in another home can be a great motivator to help you finally make the decision to let something go.
Platforms for giving away items for free:
The BuyNothing Project – participate through the app or by joining your neighborhood’s group on Facebook
Freeya (app)
Facebook Marketplace (list items as free)
Craigslist (list in the “free” section)
Nextdoor (list items as free)
Platforms for selling items:
Sella (specifically for items worth at least $50; someone else sells your stuff for you)
Note: some of these platforms are exclusively local, some you would have to exclusively ship items, and some platforms allow both.
Where to donate electronics and small appliances:
FreeGeek – for computers, tech equipment, etc.
RepairPDX – for working or nonworking small appliances and gadgets
Where to donate furniture and household goods:
Community Warehouse – similar to a food bank, but for furniture and household goods
Where to donate furniture and home building materials:
Getting Help
If you’ve read this far, congratulations! You must be genuinely interested in learning strategies for decluttering. If you’ve read this far and you still feel overwhelmed, I totally get it. That’s why professional organizers exist! Whenever you’re ready to reach out for a helping hand, I’m available to work with you side by side and provide the coaching you need to make those hard decisions.
